with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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