the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
