I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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