don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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