Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
kristin has been a bad kristin
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
