Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I need moral support for this bender
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
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I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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