The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
