i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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