I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
