I could make wine with my vomit
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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