True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
