Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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