i already hear my dad disowning me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
