I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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