just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
