I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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