dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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