So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
