stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
