Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
