I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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