I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
