how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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