she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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