Can Purell be used as lube?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
