I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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