even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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