Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Operation Purity has been aborted
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
