No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
