I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
