I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
