Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
