so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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