You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
