As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
