Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My ass is underappreciated
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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