I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
