Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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