I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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