Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586 ): He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow. http://tfl.nu/hatb
  Replies (6) Good night (797) Bad night (1873)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later? http://tfl.nu/fnnu
  Replies (13) Good night (2017) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving. http://tfl.nu/twkc
  Replies (36) Good night (3155) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4
  Replies (18) Good night (5247) Bad night (2546)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music. http://tfl.nu/kygq
  Replies (8) Good night (2780) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2646) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE http://tfl.nu/lgwx
  Replies (7) Good night (1093) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan. http://tfl.nu/tlw1
  Replies (14) Good night (696) Bad night (1821)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single http://tfl.nu/2snv
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Is this a considering it or regretting it text?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter (504): Is this a considering it or regretting it text? (318): I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/wpzn
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink. http://tfl.nu/pqtj
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy (313): Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle http://tfl.nu/8mxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema. http://tfl.nu/b0rd
  Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's http://tfl.nu/7hkf
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home. http://tfl.nu/56vm
  Replies (0) Good night (217) Bad night (84)

Randomize