Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

HIV tests are more positive than that guy

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(917): HIV tests are more positive than that guy http://tfl.nu/rakl

Replies (1) Good night (919) Bad night (1420)
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(518): View more from New York

i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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(518): i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good. http://tfl.nu/b46x

Replies (44) Good night (10020) Bad night (614)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.

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(404): I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home. http://tfl.nu/u6hf

Replies (16) Good night (650) Bad night (3400)
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(314): View more from Missouri

who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...

(1-314): View more from Missouri

I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.

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(314): who the fuck is that kid sitting with you... (1-314): I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out. http://tfl.nu/gjl6

Replies (15) Good night (1042) Bad night (4676)
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(631): View more from New York

is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?

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(631): is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys? http://tfl.nu/ew5s

Replies (26) Good night (5524) Bad night (888)
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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.

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(219): I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives. http://tfl.nu/v9m4

Replies (11) Good night (7729) Bad night (1241)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.

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(405): he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever. http://tfl.nu/wct5

Replies (15) Good night (1246) Bad night (5670)
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(256): View more from Alabama

We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.

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(256): We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money. http://tfl.nu/cfn1

Replies (7) Good night (2019) Bad night (778)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.

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(202): I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now. http://tfl.nu/oo06

Replies (5) Good night (2783) Bad night (617)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...

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(479): The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl... http://tfl.nu/uc2c

Replies (6) Good night (1895) Bad night (943)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.

(512): View more from Texas

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?

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(508): I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur. (512): That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot? http://tfl.nu/yofn

Replies (10) Good night (2781) Bad night (591)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation

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(860): When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation http://tfl.nu/q5aa

Replies (5) Good night (857) Bad night (381)
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(707): View more from California

Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.

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(707): Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got. http://tfl.nu/yk6y

Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (1413)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.

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(215): my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue. http://tfl.nu/4yma

Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (257)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.

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(612): I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around. http://tfl.nu/8ahv

Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (261)

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