Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?

(213): View more from California

It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.

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(323): How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings? (213): It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films. http://tfl.nu/x383

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.

(376): View more from

you are insane

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(901): Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere. (376): you are insane http://tfl.nu/nfoh

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks

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(908): We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks http://tfl.nu/lwab

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(571): View more from Virginia

Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober

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(571): Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober http://tfl.nu/ny6e

Replies (22) Good night (5838) Bad night (1057)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.

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(630): I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting. http://tfl.nu/uotz

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(206): View more from Washington

You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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(206): You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack.. http://tfl.nu/nf69

Replies (61) Good night (17480) Bad night (947)
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(517): View more from Michigan

found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.

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(517): found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping. http://tfl.nu/l6f0

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(214): View more from Texas

I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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(214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv

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(443): View more from Maryland

we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

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(443): we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice http://tfl.nu/hzcq

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good

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(+44): just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good http://tfl.nu/71ko

Replies (11) Good night (789) Bad night (4066)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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(+44): all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no http://tfl.nu/jen9

Replies (15) Good night (2501) Bad night (1192)
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(760): View more from California

I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"

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(760): I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND" http://tfl.nu/svwt

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(303): View more from Colorado

I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.

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(303): I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/1ezb

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

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(202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz

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(315): View more from New York

In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me

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(315): In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me http://tfl.nu/ug28

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