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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Why are you such a perv today?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  This is a lot to handle

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh shh

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm kidding you prude take a joke

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• (310): View more from California

  Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

  (310): View more from California

  Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days

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• (212): View more from New York

  You're the only person not starstruck by him

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana

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