Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

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  (208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy. http://tfl.nu/3jyj
  Replies (22) Good night (1577) Bad night (629)
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  (213): View more from California

  he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

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  (213): he quoted Bring It On. It's over. http://tfl.nu/r2ms
  Replies (10) Good night (838) Bad night (2555)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I wanna be on tlc

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.

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  (416): I wanna be on tlc (905): Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless. http://tfl.nu/gr13
  Replies (17) Good night (4289) Bad night (592)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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  (254): The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro" http://tfl.nu/wdu7
  Replies (12) Good night (806) Bad night (3097)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.

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  (815): if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it. http://tfl.nu/9gem
  Replies (48) Good night (1814) Bad night (5933)
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  (530): View more from California

  I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.

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  (530): I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons. http://tfl.nu/pcjk
  Replies (20) Good night (6135) Bad night (831)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

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  (304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www
  Replies (42) Good night (1795) Bad night (14379)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.

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  (973): just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/md62
  Replies (16) Good night (4593) Bad night (1091)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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  (713): Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car http://tfl.nu/eifp
  Replies (11) Good night (3544) Bad night (1146)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.

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  (317): The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth. http://tfl.nu/e18q
  Replies (6) Good night (906) Bad night (2877)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He called his prostate his "boner button".

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  (440): He called his prostate his "boner button". http://tfl.nu/n5dr
  Replies (17) Good night (1629) Bad night (3338)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.

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  (678): I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever. http://tfl.nu/08jg
  Replies (9) Good night (2571) Bad night (947)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.

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  (973): I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/b0w0
  Replies (4) Good night (2466) Bad night (1215)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.

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  (901): Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn. http://tfl.nu/sdqi
  Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (1941)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.

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  (870): I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me. http://tfl.nu/8alm
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (237)

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