trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
