I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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