I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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