I am in a vortex of obligation.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
