The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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