You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
this beer tastes like vomit already
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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