please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Let's get the cat blown out
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