i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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