So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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