you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
