awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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