that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
