my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
