So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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