hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
