Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
