i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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