If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
