he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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