Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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