garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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