READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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