I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize