when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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