i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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